i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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