Plan B is the new Plan A
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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