Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
