you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There's always time for handjobs
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
