Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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