scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
