Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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