I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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