You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize