Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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