You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
