I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
