Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
