Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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