saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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