I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize