i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize