Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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  (330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f
  Replies (28) Good night (699) Bad night (4138)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.

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  (214): just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that. http://tfl.nu/pf1d
  Replies (18) Good night (626) Bad night (4046)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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  (913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an
  Replies (21) Good night (982) Bad night (7965)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.

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  (401): just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October. http://tfl.nu/w9iv
  Replies (4) Good night (2708) Bad night (956)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth

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  (520): I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth http://tfl.nu/4taz
  Replies (13) Good night (1180) Bad night (4043)
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  (925): View more from California

  you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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  (925): you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race http://tfl.nu/3da3
  Replies (8) Good night (4151) Bad night (828)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single

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  (970): Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single http://tfl.nu/1weq
  Replies (12) Good night (2491) Bad night (867)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.

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  (914): I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem. http://tfl.nu/p4yj
  Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?

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  (407): I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right? http://tfl.nu/v5fc
  Replies (11) Good night (1623) Bad night (1006)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...

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  (913): Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen... http://tfl.nu/fq09
  Replies (15) Good night (885) Bad night (2116)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

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  (239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down. (801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/w6b2
  Replies (5) Good night (2143) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.

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  (765): According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top. http://tfl.nu/djvr
  Replies (3) Good night (2311) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt

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  (716): He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt http://tfl.nu/5cou
  Replies (2) Good night (1435) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

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  (614): Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it. (1-614): I can bring a slip n slide and curtains. http://tfl.nu/1p4g
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.

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  (304): I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body. http://tfl.nu/upxw
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (278)

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