Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm
  Replies (57) Good night (17084) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  zippers are such a cool invention

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): zippers are such a cool invention http://tfl.nu/t5qh
  Replies (29) Good night (4761) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now. http://tfl.nu/yhp5
  Replies (26) Good night (1606) Bad night (7158)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down. http://tfl.nu/a74v
  Replies (27) Good night (7321) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us. http://tfl.nu/d8nu
  Replies (7) Good night (4800) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right? http://tfl.nu/ikqz
  Replies (14) Good night (840) Bad night (5245)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted. http://tfl.nu/92nu
  Replies (4) Good night (2169) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom. http://tfl.nu/7x02
  Replies (9) Good night (3078) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation. http://tfl.nu/t73g
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle. http://tfl.nu/r2o0
  Replies (3) Good night (3113) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike (1-914): Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles? http://tfl.nu/k5nf
  Replies (1) Good night (1739) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants. http://tfl.nu/zvak
  Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n
  Replies (7) Good night (520) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless http://tfl.nu/p6fh
  Replies (9) Good night (613) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night. http://tfl.nu/zawb
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (442)

Randomize