By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.