if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.