if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?