U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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