she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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