Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think

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(423): View more from Tennessee

it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too

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(720): View more from Colorado

The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

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(330): View more from Ohio

The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?

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