Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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