You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
