I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
