Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize