You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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