ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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