If that was your dad, he is hot
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
