32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
