On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I supernannyed him into submission
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
