perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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