I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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