Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
