You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
