in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
