I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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