Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How naked do you want me to be?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
