she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
