okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
