I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
