he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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