I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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