just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize