you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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