i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
