THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
