I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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