Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
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she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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