I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
