lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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