Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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