It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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