Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
