I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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