it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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