Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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