I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
