i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have post one night stand depression
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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