I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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