I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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