Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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