just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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